7 Ingenious Parenting Hacks
The hardest job in the world is parenting. I think most parents will agree on that. Parenting can initiate the most blessed moments of our lives, but it can also spur the most stressful and confusing moments. No child is the same; no parent is the same; and no family dynamic comes together the same; therefore, there is no book in human history (no, not even the Bible) that has every answer for parents who want to be all that they can be. In that sentiment, I would like to offer 7 ingenious parenting hacks that I have experienced, witnessed, or heard of. If you’re having issues, it’s good to get suggestions, right? So here ya go:
1. When a child is experiencing fear:
Many factors can contribute to fear in a child. Sometimes fears come from the unknown and snippets of adult conversation peppered with unfamiliar words like cancer and hospice and death.
When I was 5 years old, we moved in with my grandparents. My grandfather was in the hospital dying of cancer. It was 1961, and not many treatment options were available, especially for a poor family. Eventually, he was sent home to die.
A hospital bed was set up in a bedroom, and all the medical paraphernalia accompanied him home. It was all pretty overwhelming to me, and I was afraid of him and all the unfamiliar stuff that surrounded him. I didn’t want to go into the room to visit.
In response, my mother made a trip to the toy store. She bought me a toy “nurse’s kit.” When I put on that white apron and cap and carried that little, plastic medical bag, something magical happened and I wasn’t afraid anymore. Mom told me I could be Papap’s nurse and bring him his water and pills when he needed them, and I did. That toy nurse’s kit opened up a door for us to have our last visits.
Yes, it is good to explain to a child to “fear not,” but as little ones learn, more than words may be necessary. It is a good tactic to arm a child with whatever s/he needs to more comfortably face a fear.
Sometimes you only need to give that fear a “name.” First of all, let me explain that I hate spiders. I know, God created them and they have a purpose, but I hate them. So my grandchildren were visiting several years ago, and we were walking to the back door preparing to enter the house when we encountered a large garden spider in its orb web attached on one side to the door frame.
Penni: “What’s that?!”
I had no desire to pass my freak-out along to those little girls, so I improvised: “That’s George.”
Penni: “Oh, hi George.”
And in we walked.
For the next several days, we spoke to George every time we came and went. Yes, that spider still gave me the heebie-geebies, and yes, we kept a healthy distance, and NO! we did not invite it in, but abject horror was avoided, even in me.
Finding healthy ways to address fear is huge, even if it may take a few tries.
It doesn’t always turn out the way one might hope. I remember taking my granddaughter Jorja to a museum of natural history when she was about four years old. There was a large stuffed polar bear displayed in the lobby, teeth bared. When confronted with that bear, Jorja stopped in her tracks and would go no further.
In response, I went into fantasy mode: “Oh, just imagine yourself on a snowy hill, and you’ve been walking for so long, and this great, white polar bear comes up to you and offers to give you a ride. You jump on and off he runs. It’s snowing and the wind is whipping through your hair, but you are warm, surrounded with the polar bear’s thick, white fur …”
“Grammy?”
“Yes, baby.”
“I don’t want to look at this any more. Let’s go inside.”
Well, maybe not exactly what I was going for, but whatever works …
2. When accidents happen:
Drops, spills, and unexpected messes can be stressful. The adult’s reaction can make all the difference.
One of my clear childhood memories is that Grandma always spoke in Italian when I spilled something. I didn’t really understand the words, but I understood that those words weren’t terms of endearment.
As an adult, I tried to watch my words.
One evening when I was a young mother, we had just returned from Bible School where the prize for the evening was bubbles and bubble wands. Of course, the children were anxious to make bubbles. I told them several times not to open them and to wait until morning. Well, my three-year-old son was more focused on those bubbles than he was on my directions. He opened them in the kitchen and dropped the bottle. “Bubble stuff” went all over the place! He looked up at me in horror, and I can only imagine what my expression was in return.
Fortunately, our angels were in attendance.
I started over to the sink to get a towel and skidded on the soapy floor. It was sorta fun. So I did it again. My son giggled and tried it himself. Then my daughter had to join in.
For the next 15 minutes or so, we “ice skated” all over the kitchen and laughed and laughed. Then I sent them upstairs to change into pajamas and I mopped up the floor. Not only was the soap quickly mopped up, but I had a clean floor, and a weirdly fun memory with my children.
The moral of the story: sometimes laughter is the best response. Bubbles, mud, toys–just laugh it off. Grape juice on the rug? Well, maybe learn a little Italian.
3. When you have to take your child to work:
I observed this last year at a junior high winter social at school. There was a man who was put in the position to have to chaperone the party and also watch his own junior high child who was visiting from another town.
As the party began, the young girl was hanging close to her father and obviously feeling very awkward. What I observed next was a genius parent move.
The father produced a set of UNO cards and loudly invited, “OK, who wants to play UNO with me?”
He was a popular teacher, so there were a lot of takers. He set up the game with several students, his daughter, and himself. They played a few hands, and I watched him watch his child until she was obviously relaxed and smiling. Then he asked another child to take his place while he excused himself to set up another game at the next table. His daughter went right on playing, making new friends, and knowing that her father was close by.
Not every job would offer that kind of opportunity, but I believe that if a child must go to work with a parent, a few moments of including him or her in the action and not just plunking him or her down with a cell phone is a good time investment.
4. When time is of the essence:
When time is important, the bottom line is preparing ahead of time. When I was a child, my mother insisted that all our school clothes and everything we needed for morning be put out the night before. Believe me, nobody in my family was a morning person, and making decisions or finding matching socks at 7:00 A. M. was not an option. That, in itself, is really good advice. There’s no possible way a parent can be 100% prepared, but to be ready for the stuff you believe is coming can relieve so much stress.
That being said, we all know how our precious angels can change their minds at the last moment. To be fair, some mornings I’m just not feeling what I put out the previous night for myself. With all that in mind, here is a suggestion: do put out clothing the night before, but make it mix-and-match “this or that.”
For example, you might put out a black t-shirt with a pink heart design on it and a pink leopard print shirt; a pink skirt and black pants; black high-top sneakers and white sandals. In the morning, baby girl gets a choice, and when she chooses, life is so much easier. Any of the above combinations work together, so any decision she makes is a good one.
Does it always go flawlessly? No. Does it help. Yes. It does seem to navigate around the “Barnum and Bailey” combos that can happen when you let her (or him) be in full control in the hectic morning minutes.
Honestly, some days, it’s OK to let them wear whatever. If you’re only going to the grocery store, don’t sweat it.
5. When you’re suffering, but they need you anyway:
It was Sunday, the 4th of July, and I was staying with my daughter and her family. My son-in-law had just gone through a small surgery and was experiencing some significant pain.
My daughter and I had planned to take the children out for the evening to give my son-in-law some peace and quiet. We made the mistake of promising fireworks (it was the 4th of July!), but as it happened, since it was Sunday, every community in the area had already done them on Friday and Saturday. The next best thing, we went to the fireworks store and bought some.
I had never set off fireworks before. My daughter had minimal experience. We put on a little music and got things ready. Then out of the house came my son-in-law.
He took up the fireworks show. It was not long, maybe 20 minutes, but it was safely and correctly done. He did not complain. He did not make a show of the fact that he was hurting. What he did do, was show that he cared. When it was over, he went back in and took his medicine and went to bed. My daughter and I did what we knew how to do for them–made popcorn and sat down with them to watch a movie.
The children never knew that their father had made a sacrifice to give them some fun. My daughter and I knew.
Sometimes a moment of sacrifice can make a lifetime of difference.
6. When it’s hot and it’s 6:00, and everyone’s hungry:
There were some evenings back in the day when work had been long, the evening was still over 90 degrees, and everyone was ready for supper. Turning on the oven or the stove would raise the temperature in the house. Plus, cooking would take a while. Best answer?
ICE CREAM SUPPER!
Before you think I’m completely crazy, let me explain that I always had fresh fruit, nuts, and granola in the house. It’s good to be prepared.
So I assembled split banana, vanilla ice cream, strawberries, blueberries, pecans, granola, and maybe a little whipped cream and chocolate sauce. It took only minutes; it was filling; and it was … mostly … nutritious. Also, it was fun!
That wasn’t something we did all the time, but I can tell you that I could count on smiles and exclamations of approval when the family heard, “Ice cream supper!”
7. The most ingenius parenting hack of all
I hope these 6 ingenius parenting hacks are helpful. Of course, the best parenting hack of all is to pray with your children. Let them see first-hand what God will do!
I was traveling home to Alabama from Ohio with my children one year right after New Years. The children were probably about 4 and 6 years old at the time. We had just crossed the river from Cincinnati into Kentucky. Traffic was pretty heavy on the interstate. A truck in front of us appeared to be hauling large pieces of scrap metal.
All of a sudden, one of those pieces of metal fell off the truck in front of us. There were cars on both sides so I couldn’t move over, so there was no choice other than to hit the piece of metal. It blew out one of my back tires.
Thank God I did not lose control of the vehicle and was able to move to the side of the road. I put on my emergency flashers and got out to survey the damage. Yes, the tire was as flat as the proverbial pancake. By then it was beginning to get dark, and it was starting to snow.
I had never changed a tire.
With large, concerned eyes the children asked, “Mama, what are we going to do?”
“Well, first, we’re going to pray.”
Within minutes a road service truck pulled up behind us. The man got out and asked me if we needed help. I responded gratefully and he changed my tire.
When he finished, I asked what I owed him. He told me that he worked for the road service, but he was off duty for the evening, so he couldn’t take any money. He pointed to the top of the hill. He said, “I live up there, and I had just come in for the evening. I looked out the window and saw your flashers, and something told me you needed help.”
I answered, “I know who told you!” I took a few minutes to recount God’s miracle to him and thank him for his obedience, then we both went our ways.
The children were amazed at how quickly and perfectly God met our need. I was so glad we had prayed together, so they realized who deserved the glory!
So pray with your children. Also, pray for your children, often, specifically, without condemnation, and let them hear you doing it! Whether they believe or not, let them hear you speaking positivity over them. There is no replacement for prayer. Live the example.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up your child in the way he should go, and when He is old, he will not depart from it.” I believe that means, yes, teach the scriptures; set the example of prayer and trusting God; but also, extend grace, understanding, and respect. Sacrifice some, laugh a lot, and enjoy this life that God has given.
God bless you, and may your parenting experience be blessed!
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