There are Two Kinds of People . . .

I ran an informal experiment on Facebook the other day, the point of which was to see how quickly it would take people to get upset and defensive over something that, arguably, is not worth getting upset or defensive about. I posted

There are two kinds of people. People who back into parking spots and normal people.

That’s it. I could, of course, have posed the issue more neutrally: Do you back into a parking spot or do you pull into it front first? But I have an opinion on this issue, as revealed by the way I presented it, and I wanted in true social media fashion to be provocative. The answer to how long it would take people to get upset or defensive? About fifteen minutes.

Early responses revealed not only that many people agree with me but that they are as judgmental about their preference as I am. Examples:

All the people who think it’s cool to park backwards are just like the people who come to a complete stop before making a right turn, and sit on a green light like they’re incubating it.

I always think it’s some ego driven display of hand eye coordination. 

But before long, different points of view accompanied by attitude started showing up.

For instance, I had this exchange with a friend and former colleague who never misses a chance to chime in on the superiority of those from Europe to parochial Americans.

Her: If you grew up in Rome and have spots that are only a few centimeters wider than your car, you will quickly realize that survival depends strictly on your ability to park in reverse gear.

Me: But I didn’t grow up in Rome! When in Rome do as the Romans do . . . So how does one get out of the car after one backs into the spot?

Her: Yes, growing up where car size does not matter and huge asphalt laden parking lots dominate the strip-mall shopping landscape makes one virtually unable to drive in any urban setting in the rest of the world that is older than 300 years.

I chose not to escalate this further by mentioning that as a privileged American who enjoys unlimited parking space I managed to do okay a few summers ago while on vacation in Scotland maneuvering the narrow streets and parking spaces of Edinburgh and Glasgow all while driving on the wrong side of the road. I never did get an answer to how one gets out of one’s car after backing into a parking spot that is only a few centimeters wider than one’s car.

My primary complaint about people who back in rather than pull in front first, other than the obvious pretentiousness, is that the jockeying around usually involved with backing into a parking spot or one’s driveway invariably wastes many seconds of my valuable time. This led to an escalating exchange with a Facebook acquaintance who also happens to be a fellow alum of St. John’s College (we call ourselves “Johnnies”). I am Facebook friends with many Johnnies whom I’ve never met in person. We share an education via a Great Books curriculum that is set in stone and has not changed for decades, so a Johnnie who graduated last year read the exact same texts and had the same classes as I did in the seventies. It’s a wonderful shared experience.

Another thing that Johnnies share is an incurable desire to debate, to belittle one’s debate opponent, and to act on the conviction that one is always right, all on display in this exchange with a Johnnie roughly my age:

Her: do you discard other safety precautions did the sake of speed?

Me: I don’t agree that it is safer to back in rather than pull in front first. If you believe that, then back in. Simple.

Her:  it’s not a matter of belief or opinion. More crashes and pedestrian collisions occur when backing out. That’s a fact, sir. Sorry to have avoided hitting pedestrians and slowed you down.

Me: Calm down. This is not worth having an argument about–the original post was in jest. Amazing how quickly that turns. Have a wonderful afternoon.

Her: I’m perfectly calm. I just wish you’d examine the evidence. Sometimes when people behave in a way you don’t understand, they know something you don’t.

Me: Other than your say so, you’ve provided no evidence that you are right. But that’s fine–I’m not continuing the debate with you.

Well that was productive, reminiscent of any number of conversations in seminar fifty years ago.

The next morning the returns were still coming in (a few hundred by the time things died down). Another Facebook acquaintance whom I’ve never met took it to the next level;

Him: Those who back into parking spots have eschewed the social contract. They inconvenience the entire World for an inconsequential “safety” advantage. If you really need to head out of a parking space, park far away where there is room to maneuver and waste your own time.

My fellow Johnnie from the day before, obviously annoyed because I wouldn’t argue with her anymore, couldn’t help herself.

Her: and THIS is why I know I should back in but don’t. Because there’s always some impatient jackass on my butt.

“Now wait just a damn minute!” I thought (but didn’t write). You spent a bunch of time pontificating yesterday on my site about how much better and safer backing in is but don’t do it yourself?? I call hypocrite!!

As noted, this was not a serious attempt to get a discussion going about which way is better to park so much as a foray into the nature of social media. Highly educated and usually thoughtful people can get very riled up about relatively unimportant things when they aren’t face to face. Of further interest, my only Facebook post that ever generated more heated debate than this one was when several years ago I noted that I do not understand people who claim that their lives are seriously disrupted for weeks because of semi-annual time changes. Parking lots and time changes—I’m glad we know what issues really matter!