I cry out to God Most High, to God, who vindicates me. He sends from heaven and saves me – God sends forth his love and his faithfulness. My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
Without Christ not one step, with Him anywhere.
David Livingstone
In my book, Joyous Faith: The Key to Aging with Resilience, I contemplate the hard issues of learning to trust God during the seasons of life when we must let go. Some time ago, I sat with a close friend and we were discussing our families in general…our elderly parents in particular. At the time, both of my parents were doing well so my contribution to the conversation was minimal at best. My friend’s folks…not so much. As my friend described her parents’ need to go into a retirement home and how hard it had been on her mom most especially, my dear friend lamented not being closer to them in physical proximity. I listened as she described her mother’s sadness and grief at the thought of this major life change so late in her life. It has always been her hope to live in their family home until she died. But with one unexpected illness after another, it became a matter of safety first and foremost. Personal preference ran a distant second.
Aging and loss go hand in hand
So came the lingering grief. The loss of independence. The dismantling of a lifelong home full to the brim with material possessions as well as treasured memories. My friend truly understood her mom’s sorrow and entered into her suffering as a beloved daughter and fellow Christ follower. My friend wondered how her always-in-the-past stalwart faith-filled mom would fare living down another wing of the retirement home from her spouse. For the first time, she would be separated from her beloved husband who is suffering from Alzheimer’s and would be placed in the memory care unit. My friend wondered if this separation might very well send her mother to an early death.
Learning to trust God with hard seasons
Silently, we sat contemplating the situation and commiserating on how challenging these kind of life changes are to everyone involved. My friend looked thoughtful then said, “I wish my parents could have lived out their lives in their own home. But it cannot be. So, I have to learn to want what God wants more than what I want.” Say that again? “I have to want what God wants more than what I want.” My friend and I looked at each other and nodded in agreement letting that profound truth sink in.
When we let go, God rushes in with abundant grace
“God sends forth his love and his faithfulness. My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.” Oh that each of us would respond to life’s unwanted and most difficult life challenges with this robust confidence as expressed here in Psalm 57. The price, I know, of a steadfast heart is a willingly surrendered one. Some days, some situations, I easily offer up my will for God’s. Other days, different situations, I cling all the more tightly to my own preferences and carefully laid plans.
We can learn to desire what God wants and discover freedom there
One lesson I have learned from the echoes of my friend’s sage words, “I have to want what God wants more than what I want,” is that my willing surrender to God’s plans for me always makes the change less painful. Truly. It is difficult enough to accept unwanted disruptions in life without attempting to forestall God in the midst of it. So, I pray my prayers of willing submission. I implore God to fill me with the wisdom, grace, and strength to step through life’s next door. I beg him to change my heart most of all so that I truly do learn to, “Want what God wants more than what I want.” Every day. Every time. Through every change. As David Livingstone says, “Without Christ not one step, with Him anywhere.”
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