I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore

Lately, I’ve been feeling like a stranger in the place I once called home. The overwhelming bigotry, misogyny, and vitriol masquerading as Christianity are unbearable. It’s as if hate has put on a clerical collar and started preaching from the pulpit, all under the guise of faith.

The insanity of hate is proliferating, grabbing for more power and authoritarian control. And you know what? Maybe this is exactly what Jesus was talking about when he said, “My kingdom is not of this world.”

Much of what is causing my disconnect is people claiming the authority of Christ and the church while acting like devils. From MAGA rallies to Christian conservatism, from grifting pastors to those regulating women’s bodies – banning abortion, IVF, and contraceptives. They treat trans people as mentally ill and the LGBTQ+ community as filth. They see the poor as trash and immigrants as subhuman. And they do it all with the delusion that God is on their side.

There’s an arrogance and a false confidence that comes with this – a shortsighted, maligned hubris. They deny climate change while desecrating creation with reckless abandon. They say they want a theocracy, but what they really want is a king. All of it fueled by fear, hate, and ignorance.

Christianity and the Insanity of Hate

Our attachments, our petty grievances, our biases – none of these matter in the Kingdom of Heaven as Jesus preached it. The message was never about securing a prime spot in the afterlife. It was about living differently here and now. It was about being in this world, but not of it. It was about being a stranger in a strange land, yet still offering compassion, humility, grace, and love.

Jesus didn’t come to reinforce the status quo. He came to turn it on its head. He didn’t come to build an empire. He came to build a community – one that welcomed the outcast, the sinner, the downtrodden. He didn’t come to wield power over others. He came to serve.

The Arrogance and False Confidence of Modern Christianity

But look around. What do we see today? Christianity, or at least the loudest version of it, has become a tool for division and oppression. It’s become about power, control, and maintaining the status quo. It’s become about drawing lines and building walls, rather than tearing them down.

This isn’t to say all Christians or conservatives fit this mold. Many genuinely strive to live by the teachings of Jesus, embodying love, humility, and service. But the loudest voices often overshadow these quieter, more compassionate ones, contributing to a sense of alienation for those who seek a more authentic faith.

Living as a Stranger in a World of Hate

If this is what Christianity is about, then no wonder I don’t feel at home. But here’s the thing – I don’t think this is what Jesus had in mind at all.

To live as a follower of Christ is to live as a stranger in this world. It’s to reject the power games, the hatred, the bigotry. It’s to offer compassion where there is none, humility in the face of arrogance, grace amidst judgment, and love where there is only hate.

So, no, I don’t feel at home in this world anymore. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe feeling like a stranger means I’m doing something right. Maybe it means I’m trying to live as Jesus did – not of this world, but still very much in it, offering a different way, a better way, a way of love.

Maybe it’s the mystical way Jesus talked about – living selflessly, with a heart open to the divine and to others. It’s a way that sees beyond the superficial and seeks the profound. It’s not about belonging to a system, but about connecting to a truth that transcends all systems.